RESOURCES

RESOURCES

Book Recommendations 

Attention/Focus

  • Hari, J. (2022). Stolen focus: Why you can’t pay attention and how to think deeply again. Crown. 


Eating Disorders


Grief

  • Devine, M. (2017). It’s OK that you’re not OK: Meeting grief and loss in a culture that doesn’t understand. Sounds True. 


Neuroplasticity

  • Barrett, L.G. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Mariner Books.
  • Doidge, Norman. (2007). The brain that changes itself: Stories of personal triumph from the frontiers of brain science. Penguin Books.
  • Doidge, Norman. (2016). The brain’s way of healing: Remarkable discoveries and recoveries from the frontiers of neuroplasticity. Penguin Books


Parenting

  • Forehand, R. & Long, N. (2010). Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds.  (3rd ed.) McGraw Hill. 
  • Siegel, D. J. & Hartzell, M. (2004). Parenting from the inside out. How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive. Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin.


Personality Traits

  • Cain, S. (2013). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. Broadway Books.


Pregnancy

  • Paul, A.M. (2010). Origins: How the nine months before birth shape the rest of our lives. Free Press.


Psychology

  • Brizendine, L. (2016). The female brain. Harmony Books. 
  • Heffernan, M. (2012). Willful blindness: Why we ignore the obvious at our peril. Bloomsbury.
  • Mlodinow. L. (2013). Subliminal: How your unconscious mind rules your behavior. Vintage Books. 
  • Paul. A. M. (2021). The extended mind: The power of thinking outside the brain. Mariner Books.


Psychotherapy

  • Epstein, M. (1998). Going to pieces without falling apart. A Buddhist perspective on Wholeness. Broadway Books
  • Epstien, M. (1995). Thoughts without a thinker.  Basic Books.
  • Yalom, I.D. (2002). The gift of therapy: An open letter to a new generation of therapists and their patients. Harper Perennial. 


Sleep

  • Walker, M. (2017). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Scribner.


Truama

  • van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma.  Penguin Books.

Podcasts

Strategies to Regulate our Emotions & Arousal

We all have times when our moods are dysregulated.  Depending on our specific natures or the circumstances we may become hyperaroused and feel anxious, agitated, or irritable or we may become hypoaroused and feel depressed, shut down, or low energy. 

From my own personal experiences, my ongoing training, and perhaps most importantly, my work with patients, I’ve developed a list of strategies for regulating emotions and arousal.  Below you will see this list separated into three sections, providing options for self-regulation: 

  1. Across mood states – including anxiety, agitation, and depressive states
  2. Additional options for anxiety and hyperarousal
  3. Additional options for depression and hypoarousal 

I welcome you to take a look at these lists and play around with them.  See what works for you.  Remember that what works for one person may not work for another, and may not work the same every time. 

A few tips:

  • Look at the lists and pick a few things to try. You don’t need to try everything all at once.
  • Have playful attitude. The goal is to play with options, not to work at them.
  • Gather data to see what works for you at this time, at this place.
  • Be kind to yourself.  Praise your efforts, not your accomplishments. 
  • Use strategies as part of your regular life. The more you use these strategies when you don’t need them, the more they will be available when you do.

Ways to Self-Regulate Emotions and Arousal – Across Mood States

Things to try when you are feeling emotionally dysregulated – these strategies work across emotional states and can be helpful when anxious, agitated, irritable, depressed, or shut down.

  • Move

    Walk, dance, tap feet or hands, rub legs or arms. Movement is often considered the “great equalizer.” It can quiet us when we are anxious and get us going when we are down.

  • Change location

    Leave the room you are in. Go outside. Run an errand. See a friend.  Change beds if you can’t sleep. 

  • Cognitive Reframe

    Challenge thoughts that maintain mood/arousal. Reframe worries and negative thinking.  

  • Music

    Listen to music. Make music by playing an instrument, tapping a pencil on a table, or singing.  

  • Dial Up “Awe.”

    Imagine mountains, oceans, babies, whatever gives you awe.

  • Co-regulation

    Spend time with calming people or pets or those that cheer you up.

  • Wise Mind

    With kind-regard, recognize and accept your patterns and where you get stuck.  “Of course,” say to self while smiling. 

  • Bigger Picture

    Try to look at what is happening from bird’s eye view to place it in context.

  • Cry

    Expressing emotions can help release arousal and shift moods.

  • Laugh

    Humor helps us shift energy, manage stress, and lift moods. 

  • De-personalize

    Try to recognize that most things others say and do aren’t about us.

  • Engage in hobbies

    Make art. Garden. Read. Cook. Play games.

  • Journal

    Write thoughts and feelings. Keep a gratitude journal.  Keep a worry journal. 

  • Nature

    Get outside. Breathe fresh air. Look at trees, water, birds, clouds, stars.

  • Shower/Bathe.

    Taking a shower or bath can help shift mood and arousal.

  • Stack Self-Regulation Strategies

    Combine multiple items on list: Go for a walk, notice nature, sing. 

  • Praise efforts

    Regardless of how well what you try works, praise yourself for trying.

Ways to Quiet Anxieties and Hyperarousal 

If you are highly anxious or agitated the key is find a release for this arousal. Movement or exercise can be especially helpful. 

  • Movement to release arousal

    Walk, run, exercise, shake out your arms, tap your fingers, run in place while sitting or standing.

  • Apply pressure

    Squeeze your arms or legs or tighten/release muscles to activate and relax.

  • Cool Temperatures

    Wash face with cold water. Step outside in cool temps. 

  • Present-moment focus

    Ground yourself in the 5 senses. Notice what you see, hear, feel, taste, smell.

  • Breathe

    Slow, deep breathing is calming.  Aim for longer exhales than inhales.

  • Body Alignment

    Press feet into ground, seat into chair, straighten spine, and shoulders back and down. Breathe. Notice which feels best to focus on your feet, seat, spine, or shoulders. 

  • Yoga & Meditation

    Take a yoga or meditation class. Try using a mindfulness app.

  • Distract

    If all else fails, look for ways to distract.

  • Stack Self-Regulation Strategies

    Combine items on list, for example: Go for a walk, wave your arms, feel your feet press into ground, notice your breath. 

  • Praise efforts

    Remember, the goal here is to try. The first thing we do won’t always work.  It is good to try, just the same.   

Ways to Lift a Depressive Mood and Low Energy 

When depressed, the key is to try to get your day started and maintain routines as best as possible. 

  • Get going in the morning

    Try to get up at a normal wake time.

  • Morning Routine

    Shower, shave, brush teeth, put on make-up, get dressed for the day.

  • Maintain day-to-day routines

    Go to work, school. Keep appointments. Follow through on plans you have. Use alarms on your phone to help you stay on track.

  • Eat meals

    Try not to slack off on eating. Aim for eating something for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  • Take medications

    Stay on track with medications, especially psychotropics.

  • Meet with providers

    This is a time to keep (or make) appointments with psychiatrists, physicians, psychotherapists, and other providers as needed.

  • Limit time lying down

    Try not to get stuck sitting or lying down for too long. 

  • Minimize “sinkhole” activities

    Put limits on time spent in sedentary activities like TV, video games, and social media. 

  • Bedtime Routine

    Get to bed at a normal bedtime. Wash face, brush teeth.

  • Stack Self-Regulation Techniques

    Combine items on list, for example: Get up and get your day started, shower and get ready, eat breakfast, go to school/work.  

  • Praise efforts

    Remember, to be kind to yourself.  Regardless of how well it worked, you tried to do something. This is a start.  We need to remember to praise these small efforts. 

Ways to Quiet Anxieties and Hyperarousal 

If you are highly anxious or agitated the key is find a release for this arousal. Movement or exercise can be especially helpful. 

  • Movement to release arousal

    Walk, run, exercise, shake out your arms, tap your fingers, run in place while sitting or standing.

  • Apply pressure

    Squeeze your arms or legs or tighten/release muscles to activate and relax.

  • Cool Temperatures

    Wash face with cold water. Step outside in cool temps. 

  • Present-moment focus

    Ground yourself in the 5 senses. Notice what you see, hear, feel, taste, smell.

  • Breathe

    Slow, deep breathing is calming.  Aim for longer exhales than inhales.

  • Body Alignment

    Press feet into ground, seat into chair, straighten spine, and shoulders back and down. Breathe. Notice which feels best to focus on your feet, seat, spine, or shoulders. 

  • Yoga & Meditation

    Take a yoga or meditation class. Try using a mindfulness app.

  • Distract

    If all else fails, look for ways to distract.

  • Stack Self-Regulation Strategies

    Combine items on list, for example: Go for a walk, wave your arms, feel your feet press into ground, notice your breath. 

  • Praise efforts

    Remember, the goal here is to try. The first thing we do won’t always work.  It is good to try, just the same.   

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